I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
