Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
