I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
