Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
