no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
