You really coming over, don't trick.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Come on in and take your pants off
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