I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
