Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Randomize
