wanna go halves on a baby?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Randomize
