Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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