it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
