he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize