hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
