I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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