...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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