You can't motorboat a personality
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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