I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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