Whod you bang
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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