I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
