1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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