now i know why i became what i already was.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize