whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize