DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
