i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
