i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
