Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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