Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize