I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
