So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
