so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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