Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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