Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
