she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
