You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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