Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
