There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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