I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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