hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
