I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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