you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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