Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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