last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
