smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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