dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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