I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
