Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
