why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
