apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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