Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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(702): View more from Nevada

The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home

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(848): View more from New Jersey

You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.

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