what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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