u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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