The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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