dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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