Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize