I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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