addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
