The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
