Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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